I was recently at my local art supply store to purchase some new pens with which to scribble pictures of people much more successful than myself, when the sales clerk mentioned that they were having some sort of “Drink and Draw” event coming up at the nearby sports bar, sponsored by Faber-Castell, the makers of the aforementioned pens that I ruin on a continual basis. Now, few word combinations provoke as unpleasant feeling in my intestines as “sports bar,” except maybe “Christian rock” or “Russell Brand.” I’m not one to frequently be found at a bar these days, as they tend to be loud, overpriced, and full of the types of obnoxious people I normally go to great lengths to avoid. Add sports fans to the equation and I’d pretty much rather eat a hand grenade. On the other hand, drinking and drawing both just happen to be activities that rank highly on my “Things Meathead Likes Doing” list (which I carry with me at all times). Plus, there was the promise of free stuff, the attainment of which you may notice is also on the list. And besides, what else am I going to do on a Sunday evening? Go to church? Watch a terribly overrated zombie soap opera?
My life-partner and I arrived at the… ugh… sports bar at 6:30ish and hurried past the obligatory shouting sports fans into a back room where there were two rows of tables and a great deal of pens and sketch pads. Some people were already started on their own drawings. We got some beer(s) and settled in at one of the tables near the back, and I got to work.
The pens they had were the same brand I normally use (Faber-Castell PITT artist pens), but whereas mine have a fine point, these had a much heavier brush-like tip. It took me a little while to get comfortable with them. But I was just there to relax, have a couple of drinks and do some doodling, so I had no ideas of creating anything that would end up hanging in the Louvre one day. And besides, they were giving the pens for free when they normally go for about three dollars each, so I wasn’t going to be a dick and start complaining.
The first sketch I made was of Aldous Huxley. For some reason I still had the picture saved on my iPod that I used as a reference for my shitty portrait of him a while back, so I figured what the hell, why not. And if it ended up sucking as much as the first one, it’s just Aldous Huxley, who cares. I think it turned out better this time, though, but it’s nothing special. My excuse is that I was sober.
Next I decided to draw our Nazi Socialist Arab Muslim Atheist Fascist Kenyan Antichrist president, B. Hussein Obamacare. By this point the 11% ABV beer I was consuming was starting to work its magic on my brain. One of the guys running the event gave me a blue acrylic paint marker while I was doing this one, so I tested it out by coloring the president’s suit. It’s a pretty cool marker, although I’m not totally sure how much use I’ll have for it. But the important thing is that I didn’t pay for it. This is probably my favorite of the night’s drawings.
Moving on, I selected Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips as my next victim. Despite his propensity for getting the most annoying fucking people to guest on his albums, I do enjoy me some Lips. I don’t know that I’ll ever be good at drawing hair, but it didn’t help that I was using a weird marker in a weird room and that his hair is all over the fucking map. Anyway, I’m not all that thrilled about how this one turned out, but hey, fuck you.
I had a pretty solid buzz so I figured I’d bang out one more before going home and going to bed like a big pussy. Naturally, I went with Pink Floyd bassist/asshole/inflatable pig enthusiast Roger Waters. I guess this one isn’t too bad. Again with the crazy hair, seriously, what is it with you rock stars and your hair. My excuse is that I was drunk.
Possibly the oddest moment of the night was when some dude came over and handed me a drawing he made of me drawing. To be fair, I am pretty weird looking, so I guess I make for an okay subject. Or it could be because my lack of hair makes me easier to draw. I don’t know. It’s pretty cool, regardless.
There are still a lot of blank pages in my free sketchbook, so maybe I’ll use my free pens to do some more speed sketches in my free time. Beer.