Pink, hairless

July 22, 2013

A couple of privileged white people had a baby, and Dennis Farina died. The LORD giveth and the LORD taketh away.

If you’re literally dying to see what the Royal Baby looks like, you should probably go to the emergency room right away. If you’re only figuratively dying to see what the Royal Baby looks like, just look at a baby. Mystery solved. (If you happen to have a silver spoon handy, insert it into the baby’s mouth for an even more accurate representation. Then wash the spoon thoroughly or throw it away because babies are disgusting and full of bacteria.)

Dennis Farina was super cool. I’m fairly certain the word “fuck” was invented just so it could be said by him. The film Get Shorty, starring John Travolta when he was still riding on the Pulp Fiction wave and had yet to squander it all on Battlefield Earth, has some pretty good performances by reliable non-Travoltas like Gene Hackman, Delroy Lindo and Danny DeVito, but Dennis Farina steals the show. My favorite line of his is when he’s in a cab after arriving in L.A. (where he absolutely hates to be), and says to the driver, “I hear the fuckin’ smog’s the fuckin’ reason you have such beautiful fuckin’ sunsets.” So, yeah, sucks that he’s dead now.

Nice of David Koechner to retweet my lovely portrait of him on Twitter. It’s cool to occasionally get a little ratings boost from somebody who’s somebody. It launches my daily website traffic into the stratospheric double-digits for a day or two, like a defibrillator shock before it flatlines again for another few months.

Now that I’m all done with the Twin Peaks project, I’m trying to decide what to waste my time on next. Maybe an impressionist oil painting of Geraldo’s left nipple? Or perhaps I will open up a taco stand with a C health rating