I am a yellow tarantula

March 20, 2013

I bit off Thomas Pynchon’s head (twice.) I’m sorry. Was a bit starchy, though, so your hypothesis wasn’t entirely wasted. Hey, there’s the captain!

Frog brains

March 12, 2013

Last night I dreamed I encountered two frogs at the bottom of my refrigerator. I got freaked out and closed the door, then returned later to find the frogs were gone. However, there were what looked like a couple of shriveled orange wedges. I started to pick them up, and then they began wiggling and pulsating, and I realized with rather acute horror that the frogs’ bodies had rotted away and only their somehow still living brains remained. It was a pretty unpleasant experience.

The Next Day

March 4, 2013

I can’t say I’m all that pleased with how my Chuck Palahniuk drawing turned out yesterday, but it was awfully nice of Mr. P (or whoever runs his Twitter) to retweet it. So, thanks for that.

Today I’m going to listen to the new David Bowie album. I know I’m late to the party, as usual (maybe later I’ll check out that “Gangnam Style” thing that everyone’s raving about). I’m really liking that cover art, though. Fucking brilliant.

Anyway. Monday.

Think less think less think less

February 27, 2013

I’ve been listening to three albums obsessively over the past few days: “Push the Sky Away” by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “‘Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend!” by Godspeed You! Black Emperor, and “The Seer” by Swans. Really, amazingly good shit. I’m terrible at writing reviews, so I’m not going to go into an in-depth explanation of why I enjoy these albums, but Jesus Christ in a hot tortilla are they good.

More sports talk at work today. Sports sports sports! Sports! I think the fact that they talk about it so enthusiastically, as if sports in any way matter, makes it all the more irritating. Sports sports!

Fuck the Lakers.

If someone actually draws a picture of Jesus Christ in a hot tortilla and emails it to me at chucknorrisistheonetruegod@gmail.com, I’ll post it here on my web site. If not, then I won’t. That’s how life is, I suppose.

All right, time to put my scuba gear back on and head to work.

Write more write more write more write more

February 26, 2013

My hands are very dry.

When the pope clogs up the toilet, who has to unclog it? Sorry, I mean, “gets to.”

I’ve officially hit my limit for listening to sports conversations for this decade. From now until Dec. 31, 2019 I’ll just be listening to brown noise.

I need more sleep.


Another one down

November 14, 2012

Six sketchbooks filled up, almost two years and thousands of hours of work, and I’m still no closer to understanding why I’m doing this.


November 12, 2012


I’ve never liked Pac-Man. I think the farthest I’ve ever made it in that game was Level 5, by which point I would be too stressed out to enjoy it. I mean, I’ve played plenty of games that are much harder, but something about trying to avoid all those ghosts that keep getting faster and faster, along with that constant “woowoowoowoo” sound just makes it impossible for me to enjoy my gaming experience. Plus, the controls are shit. Terrible, terrible game. D-

Now accepting commission requests (again)!

September 16, 2012

Great news! I’ve decided to once again start accepting requests for commissioned pieces. If you’d like to have your own original Meathead drawing hanging above your mantlepiece right next to your Big Mouth Billy Bass, now’s your chance. For the perfectly reasonable price of $100, I will draw the subject of your choice on high-quality 11″ x 14″ paper and ship it to you posthaste. Or if money’s a little tight, you can get a signed print instead for $30.

As far as subjects go, it can be literally anyone or anything you can think of. Use your imagination! Now, there are some things I won’t agree to, such as a Saved by the Bell cast member scat orgy, but as long as your idea is interesting and in reasonably good taste, we shouldn’t have any problems.

If this sounds like something you’re into, drop me a line with whatever you have in mind, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.



August 25, 2012

I’m going to be out of town for two weeks starting, uh… right now. As such, while I’ll still be drawing every day, I might not be able to upload them to the website as often. But they’ll be up sooner or later. Don’t worry!

Blah blah blah blah blah

June 13, 2012

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah shut up.